Klarinet Archive - Posting 000011.txt from 1998/07

From: Kenneth Wolman <kwolman@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] what am I going to do?
Date: Wed, 1 Jul 1998 11:38:10 -0400

Re: Jennifer's problem. Jennifer, the first thing NOT to do is get down on
yourself. You did not create this situation. Your father may not even be
"to blame": the motto "shit happens" is not a clich@-----. I know, this is eas=
y
to say, right? Wrong: it is not easy to say because I have been to places
similar. Being unemployed for a year, and in the last year starting to
recover from the breakup of my marriage. These are not simply "events,"
they are more like disasters. Yes, on the same level as what you're going
through now.

The feeling of loneliness is dreadful. Especially when you wake up at 4 AM
and wonder what the hell you're going to do next.

I don't know if you have personal contacts in Massachusetts, what your
religious convictions are, etc., etc. Having people to talk to is critical
at a time like this. Friends, a priest or minister (I assume from the name
McKenna that you're not Jewish, so don't need a rabbi:-), family members
who are not directly involved. Don't hide, don't feel or ACT ashamed of
what's happened, don't treat yourself like a social outcast or pariah. It
is all to easy to get into this kind of trap. You're going through a
hugely rough time.

And don't stop playing. You love music. You love the clarinet and, let us
hope, it loves you back. Music isn't just what one of Shakespeare's
characters called it..."the food of love"...it's the food of SELF-love or
self-esteem, it's soul comfort, it's something that can get you out of
yourself and act as a kind of catharsis. Don't worry if you're not
sounding like Emma Johnson this week. Just play the thing because you HAVE
to.

Ken

Kenneth Wolman Information Technology Morgan Stanley Inc.
750 Seventh Avenue New York, NY 212-762-1685
My unpaid life: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/1649
"I only wish I could write with both hands, so as not to forget
one thing while I am saying another." -- St. Teresa of Avila

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