Klarinet Archive - Posting 000472.txt from 1998/06

From: Kenneth Wolman <kwolman@-----.com>
Subj: [kl] Full maintenance?
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 00:31:25 -0400

At 02:20 PM 6/12/98 -0500, you wrote:
>Hi John,
>
>I'd be interested to know what you (or the Army) mean(s) by "full
maintenance"
>on a clarinet. Also, is it detailed in one of those ubiquitous Army manuals?
>Sounds like you guys might be good candidates for the Norbeck pads
described in
>the Ferree's Tools Catalog. (made of cork and space age material -- the ad
>claims you can fully submerge a clarinet for a period of time and, after you
>take it out of the water, it will still play.)

You have to field-strip an out-of-the-box R-13 and adjust the keys while
blindfolded, and while 200 oboists fire tracer spitballs at you from
pointblank range. You then have to reassemble the clarinet and play the
piccolo part from "Stars and Stripes Forever" in the correct key, all the
while returning fire on the oboists using as mini-crossbow filled with
discarded #5 reeds (OW!).

Ken

Kenneth Wolman Information Technology Morgan Stanley Inc.
750 Seventh Avenue New York, NY 212-762-1685
My unpaid life: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/1649
"I only wish I could write with both hands, so as not to forget
one thing while I am saying another." -- St. Teresa of Avila

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