Klarinet Archive - Posting 001779.txt from 1998/04

From: "Jason Hsien" <jasonavhs@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Re: [klarinet] All Metal Clarinets
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 19:10:03 -0400

-----Original Message-----
From: Scott Morrow <sdm@-----.edu>
|How DO you gut a sax?

Well, first, you pull it out of some unsuspecting saxophonists mouth. While
it's still shaking and squawking from the shock, quickly salt the floor and
toss it on the ground. Get a sledgehammer and knock the living brasswind out
of it. When it stops moving, pick it up, and use a hose and rinse it out. Be
sure to get all that gunk that bulds up near the mouthpiece (especially if
you have a bari, those sickly instruments). Make sure you get out all the
junk that saxophonists stuff into their bells and forget 10 minutes later.

After it has been thoroughly gutted, just mount it and you'll have a lamp
base your mother could be proud of. The only thing left to do is buy some
electrical wires, a light bulb socket and a light bulb and you got yerself a
spiffy new lamp!

;-)

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