Klarinet Archive - Posting 000513.txt from 1998/04
From: SEAN TALBOT <talbotse12@-----.edu>
Subj: if we can't laugh at ourselves....
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1998 11:44:38 -0400
From: ALPHA1::TALBOTSE12 "SEAN TALBOT" 9-APR-1998 23:31:30.20
CC:
Subj: funny
NOTE FROM ORACLE: Just to avoid confusion here, "I" doesn't refer to me, it
refers to the submittor...
I have a mailing list @-----. They have been having problems with
the server, so the admin made a mailing list of the mailing list owners,
something like 'maillistowners'
He has made a few announcements lately telling us what is going on, and so
forth.
They finally seem to have gotten it working, and he sent a piece of humor
"How many mailing list members does it take to change a light bulb" which
discussed the various and sundry stupid things people will do:
<begin>
Q: How many list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331:
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the list that
the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and
how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about
the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this
mail list.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please
take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling
and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all
use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant
to this mail list.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is
superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of
light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands
are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different
light bulbs
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to
post corrected URLs.
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are
relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to
this list.
33 to summarize all posts to date, then quote them including
all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because
they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.
47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was
meant for, leave it here.
143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.
<end>
I, who should have know better, posted a followup of a few bits I thought
were missing from the list
You forgot a few:
27 to post in HTML because they are using the IE or Netscape
that had it turned on by default and are too clueless to
look
48 to complain about the HTML posts
27 to post 'sorry I didn't realize it was on' -- in HTML
96 to complain about more HTML and post detailed instructions
on how to change the setting
58 to mumble something about using a web browser to read mail
12 MIME posts with useless colors and bolds saying thanks
for the help with the HTML mail
1 to post a GIF/JPG of the lightbulb hanging too close to
their digital camera.
1 complaint from the guy using /usr/ucb/Mail who wants to
know what the *=&(%$!= has been going on
58 to complain about the binary post
74 to say they liked the binary and didn't mind it
1 post about how you can MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!! by selling
lightbulbs and this report available for only $5.
1328 to reply to the list with the full spam attached and
then put 'remove' at the end
3 to flame the other morons for replying to the spammer
and CCing the list
1 from the list admin notifying that the list is looking
for a bigger server to handle the load
There have now been several followups:
"How did I get on this list?"
"How do I get off this list?"
"REMOVE"
"REMOVE
UNSUB
SIGNOFF
REMOVE
TAKE ME OFF THIS LIST"
"unsubribe" [sic]
"Morons, you have to send it to the majordomo address"
"How am I supposed to know that?"
If it wasn't so pitiful, it would be funny.
Submitted by: Timothy J. Luoma @-----.org
|//
(o o) ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo-----------------------------------------------
HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE?
It's free! Just send a message to
oracle-humor-subscribe@-----.com
WHERE DO I SEND JOKES? WHERE'S THE WEBSITE?
jokes@-----.com
LEGAL STUFF: Wallaby Solutions runs this piece as submitted and
does not claim to own any copyright privileges to it. The work was
submitted to us as an item for the mailing list, and it was posted
solely on the basis of its quality. If this is an administrative
posting, then follow any copyright guidelines noted on the posting.
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ad-info@-----.com for automated information or check out
http://oraclehumor.com/Wallaby/
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