Klarinet Archive - Posting 000744.txt from 1998/02

From: pharmacy <pharmacy@-----.com>
Subj: Ophicleide
Date: Thu, 19 Feb 1998 23:34:21 -0500

Here's the Official Ode to the Ophicleide (from Professor Cabbage)
-Carol-

The Ophicleide

The Ophicleide, like mortal sin,
Was fostered by the serpent.
Its pitch was vague; its tone was din;
Its timbre, rude and burpant.

Composers, in a secret vote,
Declared its sound non grata;
And that's why Wagner never wrote
An Ophicleide Sonata.

Thus spurned, it soon became defunct,
To gross neglect succumbing;
A few were pawned, but most were junked
Or used for indoor plumbing.

And so this ill wind, badly blown,
Has now completely vanished:
I nominate the saxophone
To be the next one banished.

Farewell, offensive Ophicleide,
Your epitaph is chiseled:
"I died of ophicleidicide:
I tried, alas, but fizzled!"