Klarinet Archive - Posting 000596.txt from 1997/12

From: Edmund William White <ewhite@-----.us>
Subj: Apology.........(long)
Date: Thu, 11 Dec 1997 20:45:08 -0500

As a member of the klarinet mailing list for over a year, I've
noticed a correlation between my growth as an instrumentalist and my
participation within group discussions. I attribute much of my
improvement as a player to the advice I've received through postings to
this list. I'm here for the same reason as everyone else, as far as
celebrating an interest in music and playing the clarinet is concerned.
I rarely have confrontations with list members (or anyone on the
internet, for that matter), and would like to say to Mr. Garrett, I am
sorry for berating you in my earlier posting regarding the contralto
range. I was admittingly "out-of-line" in terms of my reaction to your
post. I feel that my apology and feelings regarding that particular
topic remain comfortably in the context of clarinet playing and taste and
preferences. I cannot, however, condone a blatant attempt to delve into
socioeconomic issues that extend beyond the content of the listserv.

>>Roger Garrett writes:
> I don't believe you hated my posting because of tangents. I believe it is
> because, when you emailed me privately and then called me privately to
> purchase a bass clarinet, you changed your mind and asked only to borrow
> one....assuming that I would loan a $2000 item to you so you could play in
> an honor band - I don't even know you!!

I asked to rent the horn for an upcoming All-District concert
ONLY because my school's Selmer Paris bass was being pinned at the time,
and I was unsure as to whether I would have it back in time. In
addition, I was interested in purchasing the instrument, and planned to
try it at the All-State festival this January.

> You further bashed Lawrie Bloom
> because he is, in your words, condscending and arrogant. You also felt he
> doesn't like you because you are black....yet you openly stated that you
> only had a feeling that this were true. I felt this was an immature view
> that was stated just to back up your own feelings of inadequacy.. When I
> spoke to Lawrie, his story was much different than the one you told me.
> There isn't much that bothers me more than race accusations that are
> unfounded.

My relations with J. Lawrie-Bloom are NOT the business of this
mailing list. In regards to the race issue, I continue playing the
clarinet with the knowledge that the classical music world is biased, and
can be unfriendly at times (even on issues not involving race). My
experiences as a clarinetist have reinforced this..........Do I feel
inadequate? I have nothing to prove as a player, as music is a side-interest,
but I do take pride in my heritage and surely, my ability to articulate my
feelings to others.

> Edmund - I posted this to the list because I believe you are abusing the
> list for your own personal ego. I sincerely hope that you found a bass
> clarinet to use - but I hope you realize that when you attack others
> needlessly it is with a cost. I don't wish to see you attack others
> again. If you have an opinion about a subject, so be it....state it
> openly and objectively - get heated about it if you must. But stop
> complaining about the posts.

I don't want to cause any more trouble on this list. I've posted
roughly sixty messages to the listserv, and none of them were really
meant to harm.........I have made no attempt to boost my ego here. Maybe
I am insecure about race...........This parallels other experiences in my
life. That's all I have to say. Signing off for now..........

Edmund White
ewhite@-----.us