Klarinet Archive - Posting 000012.txt from 1997/12

From: Gerard Aman <gerard.aman@-----.gov>
Subj: Subject: Re: VICTOR de SABATA
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 1997 13:36:10 -0500

Avrahm Galper's wonderful story about Victor de Sabata
caused me to recall my favorite conductor story, which I
heard from an old retired opera singer many years ago. She
claimed then that it was true, but, who knows? Even as I
type I hear the story being recounted in her beautifully
melodious Neapolitan accent ...

The great conductor Arturo Toscanini would occassionally
make tours of Italy to conduct rehearsals and perform
concerts with local community orchastras. Although this was
undoubtedly a great thrill for the local musicians, Toscanini's
well known (and well deserved) reputation for ferocity was
also a source of great trepidation.
One small local orchestra that Toscanini was about to
visit knew that it had a serious problem, because one of its
clarinetists, a mild mannered shopkeeper, was, to put it as
gently as possible, just not up to par, even for a small
community orchestra. In order to protect this poor fellow from
the expected barrage of abuse from the Maestro, some of
the orchestra members went to the conductor before the first
rehearsal and "warned" him about the clarinet playing he was
likely to hear.
"Alas," Toscanini was told, "he just cannot perform at all.
But he insists upon playing in the orchestra. And what can
we do? He is a Mafioso! And a violent one! He carries a gun
and a knife at all times! And he is not afraid to use them!"
This ruse must have worked, because at rehearsal the
next day the squeeks and sour notes emanating from the
clarinet section only caused the conductor to draw himself up
straighter and hurl ever more abuse at the french horns.
But at long last, after several hours of this assualt on his
ears, the Maestro finally had had enough. Glaring at the
offending clarinetist, the conductor slammed down his baton.
He stepped off the platform and removed his coat.
"What is going on?" the orchestra members wondered to
themselves.
The conductor threw down his coat and rolled up his
shirtsleeves. He began walking toward the offending
clarinetist whilst unbuttoning his shirt.
"Oh no!," the players thought. "It's all over now! There's
going to be a fight!"
Toscanini walked up to the offending clarinetist, pulled his
shirtfront open, presenting his bare chest to the purported
Mafioso, and screamed "KEEL MEE!"

=Date: Wed, 26 Nov 1997 20:33:44 -0600 (CST)
@-----.edu>
=Subject: Re: VICTOR de SABATA
=
@-----.more, more, more!
=
=RG
=
=On Wed, 26 Nov 1997, avrahm galper wrote:
=
= Victor de Sabata
>
> Victor de Sabata, the Italian Maestro came to conduct us.
> Another Toscanini. There were rumors of some US
orchestra taking him to
> the Musician's Union for being rough.
> We weren't unduly alarmed.
>
-- SNIP --
>
> Fortunately, the percussionist finally realized that its time.
> NOW!
> That was a close bird call!
>
> Avrahm Galper
>