Klarinet Archive - Posting 000810.txt from 1997/07

From: Jacqueline Eastwood <eastwooj@-----.EDU>
Subj: RE: Inderol
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 1997 17:21:34 -0400

On Fri, 25 Jul 1997, Gary Young wrote:

> I've had the opposite problem to stage fright -- call it stage torpor. I
> sometimes go to a music group in town where everyone takes turns playing
> (lots of pianists). Several times while waiting to play, and wondering
> what state my reed will be in when I finally do, I've become entranced by
> what others are playing and then started drifting off. Then my name is
> called to play, I'm the only one who hasn't played yet, and I have to rouse
> myself from a semi-comatose state, my breathing V E R Y S L O W, and my
> mind pretty much shut down. It's been disastrous. I prefer stage fright.
>
> Gary Young
> Madison, Wisconsin
>
>
>
I just want to take this opportunity to remind everyone of my original
post: I can't say that I get particularly nervous for performance
situations (as in "mental anxiety"). And often, if I have an exposed solo
passage to play in a rehearsal, I will get the spazzing & shaking in my
hands. It's not that I'm petrified of an audience. Inderal does not (at
least in my experience) have any sort of mood-altering effect, like Valium
would, for instance. I can be just as mentally anxious about a
performance (or not) after I take it. But at least I'm not going into
convulsions and spasms.

I have given a total of 6 recitals in my school career (junior, senior,
masters, doctoral qualifying, doctoral ensemble and doctoral solo), as
well as Lord knows how many orchestra, chamber and opera performances. I
don't have the same anxiety level as I did about performing when I was 18,
certainly. But for some reason, the physical "fight or flight" response
is very strong in me, and I would prefer not to add THAT anxiety to any
level of anxiety I might have about a performance.

Can someone let me know if I'm making sense? I'm trying to emphasize the
difference between the physical response and the mental anxiety! Thanks
for all of your collective patiences.

Jacqueline Eastwood
University of Arizona/Arizona Opera Orchestra
eastwooj@-----.edu