Klarinet Archive - Posting 000374.txt from 1997/07

From: Roger Shilcock <roger.shilcock@-----.uk>
Subj: Re: Basset horn ;)
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 1997 07:03:17 -0400

How many years after???
Roger Shilcock

On Fri, 4 Jul 1997, Roger Garrett wrote:

> Date: Fri, 4 Jul 1997 13:12:25 -0500 (CDT)
> From: Roger Garrett <rgarrett@-----.edu>
> Reply-To: klarinet@-----.us
> To: leeson@-----.us
> Subject: Re: Basset horn ;)
>
> I have a music dictionary that states that the basset horn was named after
> the basset hound ........not that a music dictionary is an absolutely
> accurate source.....but wanted to spice up the conversation!
>
> RG
>
> On Fri, 4 Jul 1997, Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.edu wrote:
>
> > Deadly serious question: all the references to basset hounds are
> > being done with tongue in cheek, but is there any evidence that
> > the animal (with its sad face) was named that after the basset horn?
> >
> > I don't know when the breed became popular, or if it is a natural
> > breed, but somewhere in the back of my empty skull is the story
> > that the dog was named after the instrument.
> >
> > Let me also add, that anyone who has played basset horn at all has
> > been plagued with the basset hound/basset horn gag. It gets
> > heavy after 25,000 hearings. And to this I append the following
> > story.
> >
> > When I was 16, my parents bought a store in Suffern, New York.
> > It is in Rockland County just over the NJ state line. Well,
> > when anyone would ask where I was from, I would give the name
> > of the town, and every wag would say, "Suffern? Are you
> > suffering?" It was very funny, the first 5,000 times, less
> > funny the next 10,000 times, and after that I stabbed whoever
> > said it in the eye with a knife. Courts always dismissed
> > murder charges on me because they said that multiple repetitions
> > of the same tired joke is valid legal grounds to kill someone.
> > You could look it up. See NY State vs Leeson, 1943 et al,
> > mudus hystericus, quam olim abrahae, Vol 34, Page 61, et seq.
> >
> > And that experience taught me a valuable lesson in life: verbal
> > puns that are thought up on an instant's notice, particularly
> > those built on homonyms or sound-alikes, were probably thought
> > up by someone a lot earlier than I did. Therefore, if I did
> > it, I ran the risk of being stabbed in the eye, so I stopped
> > doing it and found beautiful women attracted to me because of
> > my brilliant social dialogue that was completely without puns
> > based on homonyms. Several wealthy women set me up in private
> > apartments in New York because of my skill at avoiding such
> > homonymic puns, and not an evening went by without me becoming
> > sexually exhausted as a result of my knowledge, which I pass
> > along to all those who continue to use the basset hound joke,
> > namely that it will run the risk of a reduced sex life and
> > increase the risk of knife in the eye.
> >
> > One of my last jobs before retiring, was to play the Gran
> > Paritta in Reno. And there was this 98 year old lady
> > who was there, and she came up to me after the concert and
> > made fun of my basset horn. So I stabbed her and, due to
> > the notoriety of the 1943 NY State decision on NY vs. Leeson,
> > I wasn't even arrested, whereas the body of the 98 year old
> > lady was left propped up in a casino by a slot machine. She
> > may still be there, for all I know. And she may even be
> > winning, but she no longer makes basset horn jokes.
> >
> > Signing off the list on Monday morning for a month of
> > sybaritic pleasures in the fleshpots of Europe. So, insults
> > following that date will not only not be acknowledged, they
> > won't even be read.
> >
> >
> >
> > =======================================
> > Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
> > Rosanne Leeson, Los Altos, California
> > leeson@-----.edu
> > =======================================
> >
>
>