Klarinet Archive - Posting 000125.txt from 1997/07
From: "Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.edu> Subj: Re: Basset horn ;) Date: Sat, 5 Jul 1997 21:31:45 -0400
> From: MX%"klarinet@-----.12
> Subj: Re: Basset horn ;)
> I have a music dictionary that states that the basset horn was named after
> the basset hound ........not that a music dictionary is an absolutely
> accurate source.....but wanted to spice up the conversation!
>
> RG
And I have a book on music history that says that the basset horn
was called that because it was invented by a man named "Horn."
No kidding. So what?
I also have an anatomy book published in 1627 that says that man's
hip bone is flared like that of an ox. The author of the book
had never been permitted to do an autopsy on a human so he did one
on an ox and made a conclusion.
And to reduce this to an absurdity, a document that we all love and
cherish, and which is the foundation of our consititional government
says explicitly that African Americans are only 3/5 of a human being.
We live. We learn.
>
> On Fri, 4 Jul 1997, Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.edu wrote:
>
> > Deadly serious question: all the references to basset hounds are
> > being done with tongue in cheek, but is there any evidence that
> > the animal (with its sad face) was named that after the basset horn?
> >
> > I don't know when the breed became popular, or if it is a natural
> > breed, but somewhere in the back of my empty skull is the story
> > that the dog was named after the instrument.
> >
> > Let me also add, that anyone who has played basset horn at all has
> > been plagued with the basset hound/basset horn gag. It gets
> > heavy after 25,000 hearings. And to this I append the following
> > story.
> >
> > When I was 16, my parents bought a store in Suffern, New York.
> > It is in Rockland County just over the NJ state line. Well,
> > when anyone would ask where I was from, I would give the name
> > of the town, and every wag would say, "Suffern? Are you
> > suffering?" It was very funny, the first 5,000 times, less
> > funny the next 10,000 times, and after that I stabbed whoever
> > said it in the eye with a knife. Courts always dismissed
> > murder charges on me because they said that multiple repetitions
> > of the same tired joke is valid legal grounds to kill someone.
> > You could look it up. See NY State vs Leeson, 1943 et al,
> > mudus hystericus, quam olim abrahae, Vol 34, Page 61, et seq.
> >
> > And that experience taught me a valuable lesson in life: verbal
> > puns that are thought up on an instant's notice, particularly
> > those built on homonyms or sound-alikes, were probably thought
> > up by someone a lot earlier than I did. Therefore, if I did
> > it, I ran the risk of being stabbed in the eye, so I stopped
> > doing it and found beautiful women attracted to me because of
> > my brilliant social dialogue that was completely without puns
> > based on homonyms. Several wealthy women set me up in private
> > apartments in New York because of my skill at avoiding such
> > homonymic puns, and not an evening went by without me becoming
> > sexually exhausted as a result of my knowledge, which I pass
> > along to all those who continue to use the basset hound joke,
> > namely that it will run the risk of a reduced sex life and
> > increase the risk of knife in the eye.
> >
> > One of my last jobs before retiring, was to play the Gran
> > Paritta in Reno. And there was this 98 year old lady
> > who was there, and she came up to me after the concert and
> > made fun of my basset horn. So I stabbed her and, due to
> > the notoriety of the 1943 NY State decision on NY vs. Leeson,
> > I wasn't even arrested, whereas the body of the 98 year old
> > lady was left propped up in a casino by a slot machine. She
> > may still be there, for all I know. And she may even be
> > winning, but she no longer makes basset horn jokes.
> >
> > Signing off the list on Monday morning for a month of
> > sybaritic pleasures in the fleshpots of Europe. So, insults
> > following that date will not only not be acknowledged, they
> > won't even be read.
> >
> >
> >
> > =======================================
> > Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
> > Rosanne Leeson, Los Altos, California
> > leeson@-----.edu
> > =======================================
> >
>
=======================================
Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
Rosanne Leeson, Los Altos, California
leeson@-----.edu
=======================================
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