Klarinet Archive - Posting 000124.txt from 1997/07

From: Roger Garrett <rgarrett@-----.edu>
Subj: Re: Basset horn ;)
Date: Sat, 5 Jul 1997 21:31:44 -0400

I have a music dictionary that states that the basset horn was named after
the basset hound ........not that a music dictionary is an absolutely
accurate source.....but wanted to spice up the conversation!

RG

On Fri, 4 Jul 1997, Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.edu wrote:

> Deadly serious question: all the references to basset hounds are
> being done with tongue in cheek, but is there any evidence that
> the animal (with its sad face) was named that after the basset horn?
>
> I don't know when the breed became popular, or if it is a natural
> breed, but somewhere in the back of my empty skull is the story
> that the dog was named after the instrument.
>
> Let me also add, that anyone who has played basset horn at all has
> been plagued with the basset hound/basset horn gag. It gets
> heavy after 25,000 hearings. And to this I append the following
> story.
>
> When I was 16, my parents bought a store in Suffern, New York.
> It is in Rockland County just over the NJ state line. Well,
> when anyone would ask where I was from, I would give the name
> of the town, and every wag would say, "Suffern? Are you
> suffering?" It was very funny, the first 5,000 times, less
> funny the next 10,000 times, and after that I stabbed whoever
> said it in the eye with a knife. Courts always dismissed
> murder charges on me because they said that multiple repetitions
> of the same tired joke is valid legal grounds to kill someone.
> You could look it up. See NY State vs Leeson, 1943 et al,
> mudus hystericus, quam olim abrahae, Vol 34, Page 61, et seq.
>
> And that experience taught me a valuable lesson in life: verbal
> puns that are thought up on an instant's notice, particularly
> those built on homonyms or sound-alikes, were probably thought
> up by someone a lot earlier than I did. Therefore, if I did
> it, I ran the risk of being stabbed in the eye, so I stopped
> doing it and found beautiful women attracted to me because of
> my brilliant social dialogue that was completely without puns
> based on homonyms. Several wealthy women set me up in private
> apartments in New York because of my skill at avoiding such
> homonymic puns, and not an evening went by without me becoming
> sexually exhausted as a result of my knowledge, which I pass
> along to all those who continue to use the basset hound joke,
> namely that it will run the risk of a reduced sex life and
> increase the risk of knife in the eye.
>
> One of my last jobs before retiring, was to play the Gran
> Paritta in Reno. And there was this 98 year old lady
> who was there, and she came up to me after the concert and
> made fun of my basset horn. So I stabbed her and, due to
> the notoriety of the 1943 NY State decision on NY vs. Leeson,
> I wasn't even arrested, whereas the body of the 98 year old
> lady was left propped up in a casino by a slot machine. She
> may still be there, for all I know. And she may even be
> winning, but she no longer makes basset horn jokes.
>
> Signing off the list on Monday morning for a month of
> sybaritic pleasures in the fleshpots of Europe. So, insults
> following that date will not only not be acknowledged, they
> won't even be read.
>
>
>
> =======================================
> Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
> Rosanne Leeson, Los Altos, California
> leeson@-----.edu
> =======================================
>