Klarinet Archive - Posting 001039.txt from 1997/02

From: Gary Young <gyoung@-----.COM>
Subj: Re: Stupid Questions (was:Upsetting situation)
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 1997 16:32:35 -0500

Scott --

I beg to differ in return. Neil is right. No questions are stupid. You
are too modest; the questions on your list are excellent.

"1) Which end of the clarinet do you blow into?"

This depends on what you're trying to accomplish. If you're trying to
remove a spider from the bell, blowing into the bell works better than
blowing into the mouthpiece.

"2) Do the keys go on the top or the bottom?"

Both places, from what I've seen. At least on my clarinets, both the top
joint and bottom joint have keys.

"3) If you finger a low E, could you use the clarinet as a drinking straw?"

Yes. Drinking straws are used not only to slurp liquid up but also to blow
bubbles down, as loudly as possible, especially in restaurants, as every
parent knows. I seem to recall a piece for clarinet in which the player
inserts the bell in a bucket of water, straw-like, and bubbles away on low
E. (Did I make that up, or does someone else know about that?)

"4) Do you really need the reed?"

I have often asked myself that and answered in the negative. As in, "I
don't need this #$=%& reed!!!"

"5) How do you keep the batteries from falling out the end?"

This problem has numerous solutions, though I am aware that some people
have become so vexed with batteries that they have stopped using them
altogether. But there are no short cuts to true artistry, and no one ever
said playing clarinet was easy.

----------
From: Scott D. Morrow[SMTP:SDM@-----.EDU]
Sent: Friday, February 28, 1997 8:08 AM
Subject: Stupid Questions (was:Upsetting situation)

>Well said Mr. Leupold, I think we all need to remeber that perhaps we've
>all been where Ken Chin is. There is no stupid question.
>
>Jessica
>

I beg to differ! Just for the sake of argument, I would like to propose
that there ARE stupid questions! Among them:

1) Which end of the clarinet do you blow into?
2) Do the keys go on the top or the bottom?
3) If you finger a low E, could you use the clarinet as a drinking straw?
4) Do you really need the reed?
5) How do you keep the batteries from falling out the end?

Sort of puts everything into perspective, doesn't it!

-Scott

Scott D. Morrow
Department of Biochemistry
School of Hygiene and Public Health
Johns Hopkins University
(410) 955-3631

SDM@-----.edu