Klarinet Archive - Posting 000662.txt from 1997/02

From: Benjamin Maas <bm004e@-----.EDU>
Subj: Re: puns (fwd)
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 1997 11:11:02 -0500

This came out on the rec.music.classical list yesterday and I found it
quite ammusing. If you don't have a tolerance for puns, though.... BEWARE

Ben

***************************************************************************
*Benjamin Maas * Which is more musical, a truck passing*
*Student, Eastman School of Music * by a factory, or a truck passing by a *
*bm004e@-----.edu * music school? -John Cage, 1957*
***************************************************************************

A Composer Makes Himself
Perfectly Gliere

You can Telemann by where he likes to live. I just Toch a trip Orff into one
of the Wilder areas Faure Wieck, and to be Verdi Franck, it nearly drove
Menotti.

I know opinion Varese, but even Vivaldi urban noises, the Bizet traffic, De
Falla engines, as well as knowing there are Mennin the streets Callas
enough to knock your Bloch off, I couldn't resist the urge to Galuppi home
early Satie, and I Haieff to say I Still prefer the Mitropoulos. The
Boyce were Sor that I had Gibbons up and succumbed to the Riegger of the
Field so easily, but I don't give a Schu"tz.

I was practically Krein from my Severacs and Pains brought on by that brief
time in the countryside! Even the sounds got my Dandrieu up; let me Liszt
some of them: the Rorem of the wind, a constant Birtwhistle, the Menuhin
of the Katz, the Lipatti-Patti-Glinka-Poulenc of the Reiner on the roof,
the Gluck-Gluck of the hens, and every morning a woodpecker or some Byrd
Chopin holes in a Tree. My only company was a Thorne Busch, a Partch of
poison Ives, a Braun Babbit, and sometimes a Wolf, nothing Moore. For a
Forrest Grainger it may be Fine - it may be the Katz Milhaud -
but I could have died of Borodin. A friend suggested my making this Tureck;
"Abegg" his pardon, but I will never go Bach to those Go"tterd"ammerung
Hillis. They Suk!

No, I don't care for the Ruggles life. I like a good Mehul - a little Suppe,
some Szigeti, maybe some Salome at my local Taverner with a little lime
Schubert after (even if they don't always clear the Crumbs off the table).
And I like to Locatelli while I'm Eaton Maderna at night. Is that asking
for Egk in Meyerbeer? Nono! So many people Berio themselves under a
Holst of problems they know they can't Handle. Their answer is too
Offenbach to nature - into Haydn, it seems to me. I Karajan a d'Indy life
in the Berg for the most Pa"rt. Maybe it isn't Perle Bliss for everybody,
but it's Godunov for me.

(This onomastic rhapsody was forwarded to us by flutist (and CMA [Chamber Music
America] board member) Carol Wincenc, who knows not its composer/author. We
publish it here hoping it will not remain Anonymous IV all time; if you
have any information about the writer, even a wild Sermisy, let us know.