Klarinet Archive - Posting 000256.txt from 1997/01

From: Marshall Mentz <mmentz@-----.EDU>
Subj: Re: VINTAGE CONN Eb ALTO For Sale... :-)
Date: Sun, 19 Jan 1997 22:28:36 -0500

On Sun, 19 Jan 1997, dgilbert unsuspectingly wrote:

> I also play all 20's vintage Conn saxophones and have never heard of a
> "cheese shredder" model....
>
> I have seen a "salad shooter" advertised on TV infomercials..Any
> relation? :-)
*bits cut*

New from Reedco Products!
It slices, it dices, it annoys your pets... It's the Reedco Clari-shooter!
>From the makers of the fine Bamboo Dehydrator, Clariwax and the
Chia-reed, comes the amazing Clari-shooter.
It's a clarinet and food processor in one!

Have you ever been practicing for hours on end or had a double rehearsal
on the same day and said to yourself, "Gee, I've been practicing for so
long, I forgot I have company coming over in 30 minutes. What can I do?"

Well, worry no longer. With the Clari-shooter, just take off your
mouthpiece and attach our patented processing apparatus. Within seconds,
perfectly cut vegetables and fruits will come wizzing out of your bell.
Just flip the switch for elegant julianne strips.

If you order now, we will include a Clari-juicer attachment which will allow
fresh vitamin rich juice to come out of your side trill keys. (Where
else? :-)

But wait, there's more! If you are among the first 100,000 to respond,
we will throw in a Clari-Lamp kit from Morrow Enterprises.

So take advantage of this wonderful opportunity for only 5 EASY payments
of $19.95 plus postage and handling.

Batteries, Clarinet and vegetables not included.
*Warning* Do not use Clari-juicer in conjunction with Clari-Lamp.

Marshall (I'm glad college starts back on Wednesday :-) ) Mentz
mmentz@-----.edu