Klarinet Archive - Posting 000188.txt from 1997/01

From: "Scott D. Morrow" <SDM@-----.EDU>
Subj: Lamp clarinet kits :-)
Date: Wed, 15 Jan 1997 09:21:52 -0500

Do you have lamps that, for some reason, no longer work? Perhaps
the wires have frayed to the point where they glow brighter than the bulb?
Has the decor in your home changed so that the bright red fringes on the
shade would clash even with Kool-Aid stains?
Don't throw it away!
Turn it into a CLARINET!

Our new ClariLamp kit contains everything you need to turn even the
gaudiest lamp into a top-of-the-line clarinet! Each kit contains the
following:

Tone-hole drill (just because they're not there doesn't mean you can't make
them!)
Pads
Clarinet keys
CrazyGlue (2 tubes)
Black paint (1 gallon)
Reed (you only need one!)
Peel-n-stick Buffet labels
Complete instructions
60W light bulb

Your friends will be AMAZED when you tell them you made your
clarinet yourself!

Here's what some of our satisfied customers have to say about the ClariLamp Kit:

"I'm the principal clarinetist in a major symphony orchestra! None of my
colleague could ever guess that my clarinet used to be an electrical
appliance!" - (name withheld)

"It was great fun making my own clarinet! I've been hitting the yard sales
and have set up my own business!" - Harry Buffet (no relation)

"I used TWO ClariLamp kits to turn a floor lamp into a bass clarinet! The
gooseneck makes for a much more practical design - and I can read my music
in the dark with no problem!" - (name withheld)

To order YOUR ClariLamp Kit, send $5,023.59 (plus shipping and
handling) to:

ClariLamp Kit
c/o WouldWinds Electrical Supply
Room 452, Cellblock C
Leavenworth, Kansas

Order yours today! (Cash only, please!)

Scott D. Morrow
Department of Biochemistry
School of Hygiene and Public Health
Johns Hopkins University
(410)-955-3631

SDM@-----.edu