Klarinet Archive - Posting 000232.txt from 1996/08

From: "I. Schwabbauer" <schwab@-----.EDU>
Subj: Re: Neckstraps
Date: Thu, 8 Aug 1996 10:21:25 -0400

Scott, You need to be careful about the things you advertise, someone
may take you seriously ala "Pepsi" and the airplane premium.

Ivan- Who usually keeps his mouth (keyboard) silent, but couldn't resist
this time.

On Wed, 7 Aug 1996, Scott D. Morrow wrote:

> >On Tue, 6 Aug 1996 18:49:08 +0000 Elizabeth Lim
> ><ejlim@-----.AU> writes:
> >>A student of mine recently was convinced (by a salesperson...) to buy
> >>a
> >>neckstrap for their clarinet. Despite my discouraging the use of
> >>this,
> >>my student's parents aren't convinced about the reasons against using
> >>a
> >>neckstrap. The parents have cited the sorts of health complaints
> >>suffered by musicians and seem to think the use of a neckstrap can be
> >>preventative...
> >
> >Jeezus Christ... a salesperson can convince anyone to buy ANYTHING... :(
> >
> >
> >I have been playing the clarinet for almost eight years, without a
> >neckstrap, and I recently got a nice new wood Yamaha clarinet, which, of
> >course, is heavier than a plastic...
> >
> >Obviously your student's parents aren't musicians... what kind of
> >"health complaints" have they cited?
> >
> >Is the kid weak at holding up his instrument, or what? I suggest that a
> >thumbrest (if he/she doesn't have one already) would be much more
> >practical.
> >
> >Baffled,
> >
> >Marylou Verano
> >savorygrrl@-----.com
>
> Actually, I think the salesperson was not doing his job! What the student
> REALLY needed was...
>
> THE STATE-OF-THE-ART ULTRA-DELUXE WOODWIND SUPPORT SYSTEM!!!!!
>
> This indispensable top of the line module replaces its outdated
> predecessor (the thumbrest), offering many new features. Built of sturdy
> anodized aluminum tubing, the support unit attaches directly to the
> clarinet (docking module required). Sixteen computer-controlled swivel
> joints (computer extra) automatically adjust the instrument to the most
> ergonomically efficient angle, using sonar-based depth analysis. The 23
> infrared motion-detecting sensors send information to the central processor
> during use to make instant changes in the instrument's position should the
> instrumentalist move. The optional "Orch-guess-tra" module will actually
> predict the performer's next move, as it automatically compiles a database
> of the instrumentalist's motions while playing. The entire 156lb unit sits
> on a sturdy 4ft x 2.5ft fiberglass base with three computer-controlled
> wheels, which allows the unit to follow the instrumentalist around the
> stage. The optional "Magic-Fingers" module can be used to actually play
> the instrument itself, allowing the instrumentalist to concentrate on
> breath control. For further playing comfort, the "Wind-Bag" module allows
> the performer to just sit on a comfortable chair during the performance and
> rest, thus avoiding the ailments associated with playing dangerous wind
> instruments. The "Wind-Bag" module features a tone-dial, with settings for
> "dark", "light", "bright", and "Benny".
> The Woodwind Support System is more than just an accessory: it is
> a must for all SERIOUS wind players.
>
> Available at most music stores and auto dealerships.
> Total system price: $63,321.78 (reed not included).
>
> Scott D. Morrow
> Department of Biochemistry
> School of Hygiene and Public Health
> Johns Hopkins University
> (410)-955-3631
>
> SDM@-----.edu
>