Klarinet Archive - Posting 000357.txt from 1996/06

From: Neil Leupold <nleupold@-----.EDU>
Subj: Re: Larry Liberson's cake recipe
Date: Sun, 23 Jun 1996 02:04:23 -0400

Sheesh what gives, Dan? First you obsess on Larry's misspelling of your
name, and then proceed to misspell Buescher and cholesterol. The joke
was way below standard, especially for you. And you yourself once said
that the material of which a clarinet is constructed is irrelevant to its
quality of sound. Larry must be one helluva a player if he's on a metal
clarinet and a Rico #2 (which I'm sure he's not). Wife been holding out
on you, Dan? 'Been craving some fettered delight as of late? Poor guy.
I think our informal spokesman has finally begun to crack under the
pressure of it all! ;)

On Sat, 22 Jun 1996, Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.edu wrote:

> Liberson. Liberson. Liberson. Liberson. Liberson. Liberson.
>
> Notice how carefully I spell it? Notice the control? Notice
> how all the letters wound up in the right place and in the right
> order, to say nothing of the right letters?
>
> My name is Leeson, Leeson, Leeson, Leeson, Leeson and not Lesson,
> you putz!! You probably play on Rico number 2 reeds and use
> a Beuscher metal clarinet with the DSO. No wonder the conductor
> says you have a thin, wailing sound.
>
> Now down to business. Your cake has been responsible for the reviving
> of a joke. When I read your recipe, my heart fell. Not that it does
> not look delicious, it does. And to hell with the four basic food
> groups of fat, candy, colesterol, and peanut butter.
>
> The problem I have is that my wife is lactose intolerant and that
> cake would cause two weeks of continuous throwing up.
>
> So as I read the recipe I kept saying, "Well I won't use sour cream,
> I'll use sour cream substitute," etc., etc., etc. And that is how
> the joke arose. It was after I had decided to make your cake with
> about 12 substitutes that I decided that the joke was applicable to
> the situation.
>
> Two Russians were speaking about foods and one said that he had
> heard that the Tsar (ptew!) ate blini 4 times a week, that is how much
> he loved them.
>
> So one of the two suggested that they make blini and try them since
> neither had ever eaten them. It was a food for the rich.
>
> "How shall we do that," said the second.
>
> "Easy. I have an aunt who has a recipe for blini and we shall
> make it following her directions," said the first.
>
> So they went to the aunt and got the recipe which began:
>
> 2 cups of the finest heavy cream
>
> "We ain't got not cream," said the first.
>
> "Use water instead," said the second. "Continue reading."
>
> 5 cups of the finest hand ground white flour, sifted
>
> "We ain't got flour," said the first.
>
> "Use sawdust instead," said the second.
>
> 6 large eggs candled with care
>
> "We ain't got eggs," said the first.
>
> "Use glue," said the second.
>
> And in this way they made the blini, all with constant substitution
> (as I forsee in your cake). Finally, when they had the first blini
> made, each took a taste.
>
> "Ptui," they both said in unison. "I don't see what the Tsar sees
> in blini!"
>
> And when I make your cake my wife will say, "I don't see how Liberson
> could have won second prize with this mess."
>
> Do you think diet chocolate pudding will be a satisfactory substitute
> for the powdered chocolate? Be frank, Larry.
>
> Remember: Liberson, Liberson, Liberson, Liberson, Leebohrzohn!
>
>
> ====================================
> Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
> (leeson@-----.edu)
> ====================================
>