Klarinet Archive - Posting 000124.txt from 1996/05

From: "Daniel A. Paprocki" <dap@-----.US>
Subj: Academic standards
Date: Tue, 7 May 1996 13:50:58 -0400

This was on the orchestra list.

>Why God never got tenure:
>
>1. Only one major publication.
>2. ...in Hebrew.
>3. ...no references.
>4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
>5. Some doubts he wrote it himself.
>6. May be true he created the world, but what has he done since then?
>7. Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
>8. Never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
>9. When experiment went awry, tried to cover it by drowning subjects.
>10. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, deleted them from sample.
>11. Rarely came to class and just told students to read the book.
>12. Had son teach certain classes.
>13. Expelled first two students for learning too much.
>14. Only had ten requirements, but most of his students failed them.
>15. Office hours infrequent and usually held on mountaintop.

Dan

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Daniel A. Paprocki
dap@-----.us

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