Klarinet Archive - Posting 000257.txt from 1995/12

From: Michael D Moors - Alpena <mdmoors@-----.US>
Subj: FLAVORED REEDS AGAIN
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 1995 19:59:58 -0500

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 1995 19:39:51 -0500
From: SAX5173328@-----.com
To: mdmoors@-----.com
Subject: Re: flavored reeds (fwd)

Mr. Moooooor's can you in all of your computer prowess post this to the net?
let me know.....

Hey, some may say grape flavored cork grease has been around forever! SOOOOO?
Whats the big deal? I have heard many bands in which flavored reeds would
provide much needed fulfillment for parts of the clarinet & sax sections.
Imagine, instead of giving the child NO reed and only asking them to appear
to be playing, you can provide the poor soul with the tantalizing delight of
a Watermelon reed. Really though, what is the premise of flavored reeds? It
is beyond me to imagine that any professional reed retailer would offer these
for sale. Since only retailers whom hope to capitalize on the sensationalisim
of the product will carry these items they are certainly doomed for a sure
demise. Imagine for an instant the "Flavored Reed" booth at the Midwest
Convention, or at the NAMM show? NOT! The only flavored reeds ever to grace?
(An oxymoron) our establishment were free samples sent out to wind retailers.
These product samples were promptly forwarded to the young daughter (6th
grade clarinetist) of a band director whom is himself a professional player.
Doing so was of course done in folly, the 6th grader loved them as did all of
her classmates, and although the pro laughed it off I am sure he would have
liked to strangle me. So, will flavored reeds in any way enhance the
education process? Will they encourage prolonged practice? Will any child
really beleive that flavored reeds make playing FUN? All doubtfull. Will they
turn your tounge funny colors? Will they distract band members? Do they cost
more than conventional reeds? YES!
Most band rooms that I visit have a waste basket just inside the door with a
sign above with an arrow pointing down that says "Deposit Gum" ...... Please,
add flavored reeds to the sign and let them go the way of the Pet Rock. The
advent of the flavored reed does of course bring to as head once more the age
old question, to suck or to blow? Next item up.... Biodegradable flavored
valve oil. But with all of this stuff around now about such a ridiculous
subject of flavored reeds, Don't even get me started on "Clarinet VOODOO"
theres to much of this around, I'm all for feeling good about the ax you
perform on but I just can't figure out why someone doesn't just come out with
the original "Snarles Say Hey kid" "Snake oil ligature" Or how about the
"Poodle Spaniel" "Smoke and mirrors barrel" and be done with it. Ronald
Regan should have been a clarinet player! Buffet and LeBlanc have been
"Doing" clarinets for over 300 years between them... Does it seem possible to
anyone that if there is a better mousetrap that they would be marketing it
to us to make $$$$? Well Iv'e got to go, it's getting late and I have to
apply a peice of end cut cork under my side Bb, shorten my register tube and
swedge out the ole LH side keys before beddy bye. I am going to hold out for
the intro. of the poontang flavored contra bass reeds myself.