Klarinet Archive - Posting 000215.txt from 1995/12

From: John Baetens <jsbtens@-----.COM>
Subj: Re: Howdy
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 1995 16:38:26 -0500

>On Sat, 9 Dec 1995, Kevin McFadyen wrote:
>
>> Does anyone know how I can find out how old my clarinet is?
>
>Yes. You have to submit a sample of the wood for carbon dating. So,
>first you decide from what part of the instrument to remove the wood. I
>suggest the lower end of the lower body joint. Naturally, after
>performing this procedure, you won't be able to play all the notes on the
>instrument, but the clarinet has a very wide range, so you will hardly
>miss these few notes. Some people might suggest taking the needed wood
>from the bell where there are no keys or tone holes, but to me, this
>leaves the instrument with an esthetically unpleasing appearance. On the
>other hand, if you remove the tenon and some other wood from the lower
>body joint, you can still assemble the clarinet, although you may need
>some duct tape to keep it from falling apart. But most people in the
>audience won't notice this.
>
>So, take the clarinet to your workshop, specifically to your band saw
>table. Remove all the keys from the joint from which you are going to
>take the sample of wood. (You don't want the metal of the keys to dull
>your saw blade.) Saw off a couple of inches of wood. Then reassemble
>the keys, if you can remember how they were attached before the
>procedure. You may have cut off a couple of posts, so all of the keys
>may not go back on. Don't worry about this, because with a good
>fingering chart, you will be able to learn alternate fingerings for some
>of those notes. If you encounter a note for which you can't find an
>alternate, just stop playing for a few seconds, look at your reed, and
>frown. This has worked for woodwind players for centuries!
>
>Then, take the wood sample to a scientific laboratory for carbon-dating
>tests. This should cost you only a couple thousand dollars. Of course,
>you have to consider the fact that carbon dating is accurate only to
>within a century or so, but at least they will be able to tell you
>whether you clarinet was built withing the past 200 years.
>
>Hope this helps!
>

No, no, no! That's doing it the hard way. All you really have to do is
cut the top section in half and count the rings.

John Baetens.