Klarinet Archive - Posting 000081.txt from 1994/04

From: "Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.EDU>
Subj: Metal clarinets
Date: Mon, 11 Apr 1994 21:37:02 -0400

I spent several days in Reno a few weeks ago and each afternoon my wife
and I took a long walk to get away from the gambling casinos. Each time
we did, we would come upon a different pawn shop where a variety of musical
instruments were on prominent display in every store.

When people lose a lot of money at the tables, they wind up hocking what
will bring them money. That includes wedding rings, other jewelry,
weapons, etc., etc., and musical instruments.

I don't know what the lenders get when they bring in a clarinet to pawn,
but I don't think it could be very much. Those guys in the hock shops
are not your friend. If you came in with a brand new Buffet Elite,
they might offer you $45 for it.

At each store that I visited there were invariably a dozen clarinets,
and there was always a metal one in the group, sometimes more. It seems
to me that a few weeks ago there was a lively discussion on the cost of
metal clarinets so I decided to report back to this group about the
prices of the instruments in the Reno hock shops.

I did not have a mouthpiece with me so I could not play on them, only
inspect them physically. Somebody ought to tell hock shop owners not
to put clarinets into a window with the sun beating down on them all
day. The metal clarinets were rarely in a posture to be played even
if I had a mouthpiece. The pads had dried out, fallen out, due to
exposure for a long period in the sun.

The way one buys a horn there is as follows. You go in and ask to see
this or that thing in the window. A clerk (with his hand in your pocket
after 3 seconds) takes out the instrument (with the free hand) and
shows it to you. You look at this tragic thing and then ask the price.
Somewhere on the instrument (in the bell for most of the clarinets) is
what they call "the asking price." Since the assination of President
Garfield, no one, absolutely no one has ever paid the asking price.
Once, a hick from somewhere tried to pay the asking price, but they threw
him out as being too stupid to live.

A typical asking price for this tragic thing in the window was around
$500. They probably paid $25 for it because their markups are often
200%. I offered the clerk $10, not because I wanted this awful thing,
but just to see how he would react. Damn if that guy did not show
interest for a second or two. Then he harruphed a lot and said that
that was out of the question because he would lose money on such a sale.
(Translated that means, go up a little and it's yours.)

I asked him what was the best price that he could offer and he said, "I
might be able to get the boss' permission for $400 but not a penny less."
Forgive me for bragging, but on the streets of NY I was always a very
good negotiator and this guy would not have lasted 15 milliseconds. Two
hookers and a pimp would have eaten him for dinner along with a cheap
chianti and some steamed cabbage.

I then, with painful wrinkles of the face accompanied by lines such as
"My poor kid is in the hospital sick half to death with dengue fever" (there
has not been a case of that in America, so it is safe to use), "and I
was so hoping to get him this clarinet before ... he... (sigh) ... he ...
(tear out of the left eye) ... he goes to the great clarinet player in
the sky." Then you offer him $18.47 with the statement, "I know it
is worth a lot more, but that's all I've got, what with the medicine and
the doctor and the reeds... sir." (sigh) [It is important to say "sir."]

To make a long story short, we finally agreed on $34. I figure a $4
profit for him is not unreasonable. So I told him, I was going to get
my kid from the intensive care ward, and we would come back and my kid
would play the Verdi Rigoletto fantasy for him, I would give him my
life's savings of $34, and we would have a deal. (It then got a little
sticky because he would not let me out of the door. But I got out
by saying that I was going to throw up soon, because he had been such
a brilliant bargainer, and what could I do, a simply country boy against
a city sliker like him. By this time I had my hand in his pocket.)

So, with a little work, you should not have to spend to much more than
this for an ordinary metal clarinet that his been roasted by the sun
in the window of a hock shop for probably 6 months.

I will briefly mention that almost every wood clarinet they had (including
several Buffets, one of which had a wrap-around octave key) were all
badly cracked due to the sun, but the salesman did not seem to know
anything about this. When I pointed out the crack, he suggested that
I put a little library paste on it and that should clear it up just fine.

Such pawn shops exists in almost every major city in America. Remember,
you have to look forlorn. You have to be like a country boy, pulling at
your cowlick, and when you look at the salesman, love, respect, and
envy of his brilliant position, must be seen on your face. And should
you threaten to leave and not leave, you have lost and must pay whatever
he asks for the item. Those are the international rules.

====================================
Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
(leeson@-----.edu)
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