Klarinet Archive - Posting 000001.txt from 1969/12
From: kurtheisig@-----.net
Subj: Re: [kl] Disgusted, Need to Vent
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 -0500
After 43 years of teaching.....
The kid on bass trombone, that at 15 was so good the pros would all come in to listen to his lessons. As soon as the job offers started coming in, his mother pulled him----he might become a musician!!! She wanted him to be an engineer and make $200,000 a year (Here I merely quote her expectation since that is how much she made!). She had left her husband and the kid's free time was spent hanging out at one of our stores since there was no one at home. Her bait was a mucho thousands of dollars SUV with an amazing stereo system. (This kid would not make good money playing BASS trombone and teaching privately in the San Francisco Bay Area? He was astounding on bass trombone!)
(Yes, I was like the missing father to him, and NO, I don't have time for a big brother program!)
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I can think of four 5th and 6th graders on clarinet that were working on the Kroepsch, the Jean-Jean and Magnani with the Von Weber Concertino or Mozart for solo, that the parents pulled because "She isn't interested-she doesn't practice an hour a day!"........If the kid is playing that well on 2-3 twenty minute practice sessions a week...WHY complain?
With this type of parent it is the punishment method of parenting. It is kind of like the schools...BECAUSE THEY ARE A CHILD THEY MUST BE PUNISHED WITH THEIR BUTT NAILED SO MANY HOURS A WEEK IN A CHAIR????
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Then there is the monster band-director who should not be allowed to be in the room with children, who is soooo mean that the parents do just what you described. We have seen MANY DOZENS quit under this one, yet the parents, executives all in this community, don't bother to get her fired!
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It is absolutely amazing how many parents are OVER-controlling and just torment their children. I would put most of the drop outs in this category.
example:
I just got a call, and spent an hour counseling one like that tonight. She is now an adult-20. When she was in high school, she and a friend both studied wth me. As soon as both kids got to where pros were praising how well they played, their parents pulled them out of lessons. (We are talking about one family with 3 California homes and the other very wealthy.) The fathers of both-a boy and a girl- were obviously VERY jealous that another adult figured large in their 18 year old's respect.
This girl recently had her Buffet, that I had custom rebuilt, and mouthpiece that I had made for her, stolen. I wrote a strong letter to the insurance company and the father evidently got a huge check, which he pocketed. He then had her take her old Buffet to a terrible shop for an overhaul--not to me, OF COURSE!--and now won't pay for the bad job (???). I have said nothing since he pulled her from lessons 2 1/2 years ago and waited for her to figure it out on her own. She now realizes, ON HER OWN, that it is all about controlling her and making her co-dependent. (BRIGHT GIRL!)
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Years ago I came to the conclusion that the bulk of the ones being pulled out had parents that were severely disfunctional and very jealous of other adults that their kids respected. As soon as the kid went beyond "another nice interest", to a PASSION for music, CONTROL came into play and the child needed to be put down and manipulated (Should I say punished?). Seldom have these families been poor.
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What about the families with no money? (shhhh---don't we all give some free lessons?)
Kurt
-----Original Message-----
>From: thomaswinds <thomaswinds@-----.net>
>
>I just want to know why, when a kid needs to "lighten up their schedule",
>the parents decide to cancel lessons? You know, the thing that takes up a
>half hour to an hour of their week (Not counting the practice time...but at
>
>
>
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