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Doublereed Archive - Posting 000059.txt from 2007/11
From: "HAROLD" <harold@-----.br>
Subj: [DR-L] Orchestra cast of characters
Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:07:33 -0500
Dear List(s)
Can someone out there in double reed cyberspace confirm if this cast of
characters exists in your orchestra?Are there other "personbnages" who I've
left out?
(1)The "rat"(and head of musical police)--Possessed with a perfect ear,
which literally doesn't miss a note or rhythm, he/she screams out at
rehearsals,etc "the third trombone is flat."Pity the oboist, eh or bn . who
sits his or her side! (Solution:warn the "rat"that if he or she corrects you
during rehearsals,etc ,,you have a Jekyl and Hyde character which could
explode!)
(2)The head nodder--Who exactly is Joe /Jill Shmoe ,who has been playing
behind you for the last two decades?He or she never says a word ,only nods
his or hear head in reply.What kind of secret life does he/she lead,who is
his wife,mistress,lover? Where does he/she live and what does he.she do
outside of music?
(3) The organizer--He or she is always involved in rounding up musicians to
play in anywhere from churches to niteclubs. Trouble is if the organizer
organizes (and pays) right in front of your nose your colleague,you begin to
wonder what the heck are you doing wrong?
(4)The powerhouse ,wheeler-dealer--Is the worst musician in the orchestra.No
one can ever explain how he or she ever passed the audition. But the
powerhouse has so much power over the destiny of orchestra
members'professional life that no one would dare to even talk about
replacing him /her with a competent musician.
(5) The bandit/outlaw :He or she is always absent for some
"legitimate"reason or other. Usuually it's a doctor's note,problem in the
family, personal problems, a death in the family,etc.You believe all this
until you discover that he/she is really out on another date playing.
(6) The joker: He or she always has a smile or a joke to greet in a
rehearsal or unfavorable moment. Thank goodness for his or her existence
,otherwise rehearsals would be intolerable.
(7) The Maestro hand (or worse?) kisser. Maestros come or go, but he or she
will always be the first to become the "best "friend(and informant?) of the
Maestro. No matter that everyone in the orchestra detests the new tyrant on
the podium, he or she will always be the best friend,confidant,
consultant,etc.Be careful with your conversations with this one.
(8) The perpetual absent musician:pregnant,leaves of absence,study tours,
voyages for musical enrichment, she or he(his wife is pregnant) knows every
rig and role to get out of full-time musical drudgery.
Sound familiar?
Who have I left out?
Best wishes,
Harold Emert
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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