Brought to you this hour by

Advertising and Web Hosting on Woodwind.Org!

Doublereed Archive - Posting 000084.txt from 2007/01

From: "Carl Gardner" <c.g.bassoon@-----.com>
Subj: [DR-L] thought this was funny...
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2007 03:51:43 -0500

NOT in GROVE's DICTIONARY - from Al Heller

Obligato - being forced to practice

Metronome - short, city musician who can fit into a Honda Civic

Lento - the days leading up to Easto

Largo - beer brewed in Germany for the Florida Keys

Piu Animato - clean out the cat's litter box

Con Spirito - drunk again

Colla Voce - this shirt is so tight I can't sing

Improvisation - what you do when the music falls down

Prelude - warm-up before the clever stuff

Flats - English apartments

Chords - things organists play with one finger

Discords - thing that organists play with two fingers

Suspended Chords - useful for lynching the vocalist

Time Signatures - things for drummers to ignore

Melody - an ancient, now almost extinct, art in songwriting

Klavierstuck - A term used by German furniture movers attempting to get a
piano through a narrow doorway.

Music Stand - An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two sizes -
too high or too low - always broken.

Tonic - A medicinal drink consumed in great quantity before a performance,
and in greater quantity afterwards.

Dominant - What parents must be if they expect their children to practice.

Concert Hall - A place where large audiences gather, for the sole purpose of
removing paper wrappings from candy and gum.

Sotto Voce - singing while drunk

Agogic - playing high enough on an oboe to make the eyes bulge.

Cadenza - slapping noise on office furniture

Fandango - grabbing the pull chain on the ceiling fan

Prima Volta - jump start with a battery

Refrain - proper technique for playing bagpipes

Smorzando - with melted chocolate and marshmallow

**************************************************
Carl Gardner
Fresno California
c.g.bassoon@-----.com
**************************************************

---------------------------------------------------------------------
For personal help: email doublereed-owner@-----.org
Doublereed is a service of Woodwind.Org, Inc. http://www.woodwind.org