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Doublereed Archive - Posting 000022.txt from 2005/09
From: OhSuzan419@-----.com
Subj: Re: [DR-L] "Getting it" the first time
Date: Fri, 09 Sep 2005 22:38:05 -0400
In a message dated 9/9/2005 6:31:16 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
PhilFrei@-----.com writes:
<<Just musing. I am trying to understand why it is that it often takes
several
years after being given clear, good advice to actually understand it and be
able to put it to good use.>>
Well, as my teacher told me just this week (as I was having a snit about
something being difficult to execute), "People spend their whole lives trying to
do this. Why do you think you should be able to do it the first time?"
My answer: because everything else has been easy, and I like that. It's play.
It's fun. It's not work.
So, what happens when you finally come up against something you can't just
toss off? (As my teacher says, I chew up and swallow baroque concerti as if they
were candy. Yum yum! Gulp!)
So naturally, what she is trying to do, is get me to do things that aren't so
tasty to me. Like subtle dynamics, and complex interpretive stuff.
And it's HARD. Can't do it. At least, not right away.
What I have done forever and ever (and may speak to the issue you address),
is to just do the stuff that comes easily. Which is wonderful, but which does
not lead to growth. And then I wonder why I am stuck at a level of development
which, while high, is not where I want to be.
And it's not like I don't know better. I KNOW what all those marks mean, and
when I was directing others, I insisted that they observe them. But in my own
playing, I gloss over things.
It's kind of what some people call a "reptilian" response -- no higher brain
function apparent. If you're natively talented enough, that will take you a
good ways along the path to excellence. But it will not get you to true
excellence.
So, this week, under hmy teacher's very kind direction, I have been
s-l-o-w-i-n-g i-t d-o-w-n and actually working, trying, thinking, sweating, doing
things that do not come naturally.
And despite my fears, it's happening. Things that seemed un-doable two days
ago are starting to feel right. I hear the music, and not just the notes.
Saints be praised!
We don't do what we know we ought to be doing because we think there is an
easier way, and if we just persist, it will work itself out.
The truth, however, is that, as T.S. Eliot said, the way between where you
are, and where you are not, is a way you do not know. But you have to go that
way. So (Eliot again) it is not " fare well!", but "fare forward!" on your
voyage.
Susan
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