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Doublereed Archive - Posting 000051.txt from 2005/01

From: Rhondda May <rmay@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [DR-L] Why do musicians hate themselves??
Date: Mon, 10 Jan 2005 20:18:27 -0500

judy, excellent solution!
our own forgiveness of our selves is pretty powerful...

rhondda
On 10 Jan 05, at 11:42 PM, Judy Latz wrote:

> Rhonda,
>
> You are exactly right and, as long as we are human, we will be
> imperfect.
> Here's what I learned to do many years ago and it is wonderful. When I
> make a mistake in a performance I immediately forgive myself. At the
> same
> time I vow to make the remainder as beautiful as possible. Afterwards
> I
> dismiss the mistake(s) and recall the beautiful passages. I learned
> to do
> this because I noticed other musicians, after a performance, couldn't
> accept a compliment because they were remembering their indiscretions,
> while I was remembering the beautiful passages they played (and,
> perhaps
> didn't even notice the indiscretion!). I realized I could apply this
> to my
> own self. Most of us seem to dismiss the mistakes of others but can't
> seem
> to do the same for our own mistakes, no matter how small. So, after a
> performance, when you begin to dwell on the missed D#, remind yourself
> that
> although you did miss a D#, you played the other 3 or 4-thousand notes
> correctly! Maybe you missed an entrance -- what about the other 150
> entrances that were right on cue???? Give yourself credit for all the
> positive parts of the performance and dismiss the imperfect parts.
> Mistakes and indiscretions are in the past. No matter how much regret
> we
> may feel, we can't go back and change the past, but we can look to the
> future at the moment of the problem and pledge to make music that is
> at the
> top of our level of talent & skill -- and after the performance, recall
> those beautiful moments that we created!
>
> It is not easy to immediately forgive yourself for a mistake in music,
> but
> it is a skill that can be learned if practiced over time.
>
> Judy Latz
>
>> [Original Message]
>> From: Rhondda May <rmay@-----.com>
>> To: <doublereed@-----.org>
>> Date: 1/9/2005 4:52:00 PM
>> Subject: Re: [DR-L] Why do musicians hate themselves??
>>
>> IMHO, this is really an existential problem.
>>
>> It's not that we compare ourselves to recordings and find ourselves
>> wanting, although that may also be the case.
>>
>> It's that music is, as a gift from G-d, is so perfect, and by its
>> nature so ephemeral, and our ability to reproduce or "deliver" it is
>> by
>> nature imperfect and human, that when faced with this comparison, we
>> cannot help but find ourselves lacking.
>>
>> On the contrary, I often wonder if/how any musicians remain completely
>> sane!
>>
>> kisses to all, and keep trying-
>> rhondda
>>
>> On 10 Jan 05, at 4:10 AM, Frank Jordan wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Hi all,
>>>
>>> Last night, my roommate (a very talented clarinetist) and I
>>> participated in a chamber concert for our local Philharmonic,
>>> performing
>>> the Richard Strauss Suite in Bb for 13 winds. The group was a
>>> mixture
>>> of semi professional and purely amateur performers, and overall went
>>> very well (certainly one of the high points of the program)
>>>
>>> The problem is that, when the concert was over, and we were all in
>>> the
>>> reception, my roommate came to me almost in tears telling me he
>>> ruined
>>> the whole performance, that he wanted to quit the clarinet, etc.
>>> Turns
>>> out his reed was slightly misaligned, and he couldn't get the full
>>> tone
>>> he wanted in the first movement. Keep in mind, the conductor,
>>> members
>>> of the audience are coming up to us and congratulating us, telling us
>>> how wonderful the concert was, telling us things they liked about the
>>> performance. I knew the performance had some glitches, and in my
>>> college or early "pro" days I would have probably been beating myself
>>> up
>>> for the small mistakes ("Oh my God, I can't believe I cracked that A
>>> in
>>> the fourth movement! I am worthless!!!"). I was thinking about past
>>> performances (my roomie and I both are involved in a woodwind quintet
>>> and gig together a lot) and was shocked to realize I had NEVER heard
>>> anything positive from him after a performance. He actually shuns
>>> praise... it makes him feel uncomfortable. In some ways, I
>>> empathize,
>>> I
>>> can be the same way sometimes. But my roommate is the best
>>> clarinetist
>>> I have ever known. His old college teacher still keeps a picture of
>>> him
>>> in his office, and nine years later tells his students about the
>>> great
>>> Matt Hanna, the one that got away (Matt went into computers full
>>> time,
>>> partially because he flubbed an audition and couldn't handle it). I
>>> can
>>> sometimes be hypercritical myself, in fact, because we were in charge
>>> of
>>> recording the concert, we listened to it after we got home last
>>> night.
>>> I
>>> noticed myself dismissing the nice moments and focusing in on the
>>> parts
>>> that could have been better, noticing intonation issues, etc.
>>>
>>> Why do we do this to ourselves?? Isn't making music supposed to
>>> be
>>> a joyful thing? Striving for perfection is a good thing, but at what
>>> point does it become destructive?
>>>
>>>
>>> I am very worried about my friend. He was still upset hours after
>>> the
>>> performance, and is still upset today. I feel his technical problems
>>> were not very noticeable, other than he was a bit softer and thinner
>>> in
>>> tone than I am used to hearing him. Anybody else dealing with this
>>> problem?
>>>
>>> Frank Jordan
>>> Principal Bassoon
>>> Foothills Philharmonic
>>> Papageno Quintet - http://www.papagenoquintet.com - feel free to
>>> listen to our sound clips!
>>>
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>>> For personal help: email doublereed-owner@-----.org
>>> Doublereed is a service of Woodwind.Org, Inc. http://www.woodwind.org
>>>
>>
>>
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>
>
>
>
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