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Doublereed Archive - Posting 000061.txt from 2004/02
From: D Bogan <dgbogan@-----.net>
Subj: [DR-L] Music Pet Store Story & Quotes
Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2004 15:56:59 -0500
Oh my gosh, I'm still rollin' on the floor, fallin'
off my chair with laughter. Had to send these on. This
comes from a new organ chat-list I've recently joined.
Something for
every musician here--it's an equal opportunity
offender! lol
Donna Bogan
Alice, TX
Subject: The Music City Pet Store and Quotes
Subject: "The Music City Pet Store"
A man walks into a Music City Pet Store looking to
buy a monkey.
The store owner points towards three identical looking
monkeys in
politically correct, animal-friendly natural
mini-habitats.
"The one on the left costs $500," says the store
owner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can write and arrange for small combos
and groups up to
16 pieces," answers the store owner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is
told, "That one
costs $1500. It knows Jazz and Classical music. He
can improvise or
play technically difficult solos."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs
$3,000," answers the store owner.
"3,000 dollars!!" exclaims the man. "What can that
one do?"
To which the owner replies,
"To be honest, I've never seen it do a single
thing, but it calls
itself a Band Leader."
Subject: Music Quotes QUOTES ABOUT MUSIC
My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a
producer.-- Cole
Porter
Don't bother to look, I've composed that already.--
Gustav Mahler to
Bruno Walter
I would rather play "Chiquita Banana" and have my
swimming pool than
play Bach and starve.-- Xavier Cugat
Musicians talk of nothing but money and jobs. Give
me businessmen
every time. They really are interested in music and
art.-- Jean Sibelius,
explaining why he rarely invited musicians to his
home.
The amount of money one needs is terrifying.--
Ludwig van Beethoven
Only become a musician if there is absolutely no
other way you can
make a living.-- Kirke Mecham, on his life as a
composer
I am not handsome, but when women hear me play, they
come crawling to
my feet.-- Niccolo Paganini
If one hears bad music it is one's duty to drown it
by one's
conversation.-- Oscar Wilde
Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back
legs together.--
Mel Brooks
Life can't be all bad when for 10 dollars you can
buy all the
Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for 10 years.--
William F. Buckley
Jr.
You can't possibly hear the last movement of
Beethoven's Seventh and
go slow.-- Oscar Levant, explaining his way out of a
speeding ticket
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.-- Mark
Twain
I love Beethoven, especially the poems.-- Ringo
Starr
If a young man at the age of 23 can write a symphony
like that, in
five years he will be ready to commit murder.
-- Walter
Damrosch on Aaron Copland
There are still so many beautiful things to be said
in C major.--
Sergei Prokofiev
I never use a score when conducting my orchestra.
Does a lion tamer
enter a cage with a book on how to tame a lion? --
Dimitri
Mitropoulos
God tells me how the music should sound, but you
stand in the way.--
Arturo Toscanini to a trumpet player
Already too loud!-- Bruno Walter at his first
rehearsal with an
American orchestra, as the players reached for their
instruments
When she started to play, Steinway himself came down
personally and
rubbed his name off the piano.-- Bob Hope, on
comedienne Phyllis Diller
Never look at the trombones, it only encourages
them.-- Richard
Strauss
In opera, there is always too much singing.-- Claude
Debussy
Oh how wonderful, really wonderful, opera would be
if there were no
singers!-- Gioacchino Rossini
====
Donna G. Bogan
Double Your Reeds and Double Your Music--
Oboe, English horn, and Bassoon
