Doublereed Archive - Posting 000045.txt from 2003/01

From: "Eldonna May" <elmay@-----.edu>
Subj: Re: [DR-L] recovering from a bad recital
Date: Mon, 6 Jan 2003 11:00:49 -0500

Dear Lisa:

I'm sorry to hear of your son's experience. It was a studio recital
after all, not an audition or competition, so I think his teacher was
exceptionally harsh given the situation and your son's age. She should
have been encouraging, not clock-watching. This was an excellent
opportunity to "teach" and she blew it!

What she should have done is announce to the audience: "Johnny is having
some difficulties right now so, in order to give him a chance to
re-group and show you what he can REALLY do, we're going to have the
next soloist perform and Johnny will come back later in the program to
perform for you."

There isn't a musician alive who doesn't have a bad performance "war
story" to tell. The difficult task for some is to accept the experience
for what it was and move on. This is also particularly important as solo
& ensemble festival (at least in Michigan) approaches. Constructive
criticism from adjudicators can sometimes be a "reality check" for
students, but sometimes judges make mistakes, too.

Your son should be encouraged to continue playing because he has
ability, enjoys music and his instrument, not to be "top dog."

Best,

Eldonna L. May

Kathryn Sleeper wrote:
>
> Hi Lisa,
>
> I think everyone has a story like this. I have been playing piano
> since I was 6 years old, and in recital since 7. By the time I was
> 16, I was pretty seasoned on the recital venue. Up to that point, I
> had had no idea how I memorized things—tactile, probably, but
> basically I “zoned” while playing. Sometimes I would get finished
> with a piece and it felt like I would then start coming into
> consciousness. This awareness became more pronounced the older I got
> and I began having doubts about “trusting” this state and started
> trying to have a way to control it as a back up. Things got a little
> more difficult before they got better. Anyway, when I was 16, I was
> doing the famous Chopin Waltz that everyone does on a recital where I
> was the representative for my teacher’s studio for the region. I had
> a fever and my parents tried to get me to stay home. I didn’t—it was
> a big deal and a big honor to be playing. There is this famous “b
> section” to the waltz that comes back 6 times before the end. I got
> to the scale passage at the end of this section (which is probably the
> simplest part of the piece, honestly) and couldn’t complete the scale.
> I was suddenly aware that I was playing and felt lost. I just went
> on to the next section of the waltz—no problem—the b section came
> back—same place in the scale, I went blank. Went on. This block
> happened every time I got there! Fortunately, I was so delirious I
> didn’t feel the tension in the hall which had to be horrible.
> Finally, the 6th and last time I got to that point I played the
> pattern over and over until I got it right. I was insanely (and
> embarrassingly) pleased not to have given up completely and stood up
> and smiled at the audience before I bowed. My teacher looked like she
> was about to cry. My mother had her head in her lap. The audience
> clapped with relief that I was leaving. I went off stage and threw
> up. The first thing my mother said to me was “Don’t ever do that to
> me again!” My teacher patted my back and said “It happens. And it’ll
> probably never happen to you again.” The audience members in the
> reception line said “Nice dress!” Guess which of these was the best
> thing to have said? And, my teacher was right.
>
> So, to your son I say--”It happens. It’ll probably never happen to
> you again.” Remember, too, that performing is a skill, not just like
> playing but, different. The more you do it, the better you get at it.
> And mostly remember, it’s music. No one is going to get hurt if a
> performer messes up. The world will not end. It doesn’t mean the
> performer is a bad person, or even that s/he wasn’t well-prepared.
> Things happen—even to the most seasoned professionals. Makes
> interesting conversation at cocktail parties. And the next time your
> son performs and it goes just like he wants it to, he’ll experience a
> greater amount of satisfaction than he’d have ever felt if nothing bad
> had ever happened. That is a good thing!
>
> Best—Kat Sleeper
>
> "Vickery, Lisa" wrote:
> >
> > This question isn't specific to double-reed playing, but
> rather has to do
> > with fostering love of music in children and helping them
> overcome flubbed
> > performances.
> > My 10-year-old son recently was in a piano recital, and it
> was a disaster.
> > Luckily, he's had several others that went off without a
> hitch. But for this
> > one, he began playing his little Berlioz piece (which he'd
> played a million
> > times by memory) and just choked about 2 lines into it. He
> started over, but
> > hit the same problem at the same spot. He simply couldn't
> remember how it
> > went.
> > The teacher told him to take a bow (meaning: get off
> stage).
> > Obviously, it was a heart-breaking experience, and he
> sobbed quietly through
> > the rest of the hour-long recital.
> > My questions to you:
> > Was the teacher too harsh in rushing him off stage? ( I
> thought so, but I
> > also realize he's seen these kinds of problems over the
> years and knows when
> > somebody is having an off day.)
> > And secondly, do you have any words to the wise about how
> I can prevent this
> > from turning into a musical scar that doesn't heal
> properly? Luckily, he's
> > continued to practice regularly and hasn't mentioned any
> desire to quit, but
> > I suspect the experience has subtracted something from his
> willingness to
> > perform.
> >
> > Lisa V., oboe/flute. NJ
> >
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